Lost in Fast-Food Translation.

Paris, France, 10 years before.

Russell had about a hundred euros to his name, but all he could think of was getting something to eat. The last track practice left an airy void in his stomach which kept protesting giving him warning growls that could compete with those of a bear. 

He spotted a McDonald's across the street. And although he doesn't eat out often, he felt that a crispy McChicken would hold him over for the next few hours.

Unlike back home, this McDs was worse with the line ups. For a large portion of country to dislike Americans with a such a passion, it appeared that the French shared the same affinity to high caloric and greasy foods.

Russell made it to the counter. He didn't even need to look at the menu since he always ordered the same thing.

He smiled at the cashier, who was a young petite girl. "J'aimerai avoir un MacPoulet, s'il vous plait." May I have a McChicken, please.

The cashier scrunched up her face, narrowing an eye."Quoi?"

"Un MacPoulet."

"Tu veux un quoi?"

Russell couldn't believe this. They had to have chickens in France. How could she not know what a MacPoulet is.

"Vous connaissez le poulet," Russell then proceeded in bending both arms to look like chicken wings and moved them while bobbing his head. "Ca fait, Pwok, Pwok, Pwok! Tu sais, le poulet. Je veux un MacPoulet—et en trio."

The cashier suddenly burst out laughing. "Ah, je comprends. Vous demandez pour un MacChicken."

Russell scrunched up his face. "Un what?"

The End

The Demeter Code—the sequel to Pandora's Succession—will be out this summer. Visit www.RussellParkway.com and sign up to the mailinglist for more details.

I nearly died. How dare you send me a sympathy note in English.

It's so sad how the political climate in Quebec brings out the worst in people.

Many of you would've heard about Rich Peverley, who plays for the Dallas Stars, collapsing on the bench during a hockey game due to cardiac issues. The Montreal Canadians sent out a sympathy tweet in both French and English. However, the guy you see below in the pic—who's obviously a Separatist—replied to both the Montreal Canadians AND the Dallas Stars—by tweeting: "Au Québec le francais en premier. C'est nous respecter." Translation, "In Quebec it's French first. Respect us."

Don't ask me why Mr Filion believes why language takes precedence over someone's health, or why he thinks that Quebec's language laws extend on social media—or even in the state of Texas. Don't even ask me why he also had the nerve to file harassment complaints with the Sûrété du Québec (Quebec Provincial Police) due to the huge Twitter backlash he got from—where I assume to be—across the country.

I politely tweeted him, letting him know that someone nearly died, and that he ought to show some respect. And I did so in French, followed by English. He replied to me, writing:

Translation: "I respect and am sad for Peverly, but show some respect for the French majority. Thank you."

I replied to him, asking him how did I disrespect the French majority. As expected, he didn't reply.

If there's one thing that I hope Mr Filion has learned—and hopefully the PQ government that's in power—is that you cannot politicize everything. There's a time and place for politics, and one of those places where it doesn't belong is during a hockey game. By the same token, it most certainly doesn't belong in a hospital.